Dating an ex con
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AU calls for suspension of announcement of DRC elections' final result. Even if this was an accident, he got to live his life scot-free while your mom did not; not to mention what he did to you and your father. Did he seek you out? I wonder if he knew who you were and this was his plan to atone for what happened. If I were you I would seek a mental health doctor asap, they will help you with other resources too. This would literally make me not sleep at all. You certainly can't go about this alone. I hope you will be okay yourself. It's quite possible that he did seek you out, for one reason or another.
It would have been quite important to know how he reacted when you somehow told him that it was your mother. Now you can't know that because you don't know what you said. I most likely would leave him. Cuz I know no matter how much I love this person, there is no way I would ever married him, knowing he was the one who killed my own mother. I'd absolutely leave him. Sure, it's not that he meant to kill OP's mom, but I could not be with someone that had been responsible for my mothers death, accident or not.
I could still care for them, maybe even love them. But not be with them in the long haul. OP, you obviously cared a great deal for this man and he you. I'm sorry to hear of your loss and how painful life must have been for you. Since this is a delicate situation, I urge that you do not act rashly. If you need an unbiased opinion, go to a counselor and explain your story as honestly as possible without specifics.
You mention that you've been afraid of talking to him. Has he given any indication of violence? If you wish to skip the professional help and confront him, pay attention to his behavior beforehand. Or does he have more sinister intentions? Picking up on these cues will help you avoid potential trouble. This makes me feel terrible, both for you and for him.. He must have known, or at least assumed, that it was your mother due to the last names, and he clearly feels bad and I can't even imagine what emotions you must feel right now..
But he needs comfort too. I'm not saying that you need to be the person to give it to him, but if you feel like you might ever forgive him for doing this, then you should call him right now. Think of the good times you have had with him and make the decision. If you decide to leave him and move on, find someone to talk to about this to get it off your chest because it must be terrible: After reading some of the other comments and putting some things from the story together, I too believe that he sought you out.
You mentioned that he was practically begging you to go on a date with him. Maybe he has no true feelings for you and just wants to make up for what he did.. I feel like that's what I would do, and thinking about how he might just be treating you nicely to make up for what he did makes me angry. I'm sorry for your loss.
I am amazed you didn't hurt him or scream or something, although I suppose my own reaction would probably be shaking and crying uncontrollably while trying not to vomit. Wow that's honestly so hard to believe it was him! Hope you're okay and I feel like you should say something but of course it's your decision.
I didn't think dating an ex con was going to be a big deal. : nosleep
Dammit OP that's a very difficult situation you're in. My condolences to you and you family. If you do want to talk to Dale before this I suggest not going alone. Good luck with whatever you decide. I am so sorry. But I really think you need to tell your father and siblings, and probably stay away from Dale. You guys should also report this to the police; you, your mother, and the rest of your family deserve peace. It may have been an accident but he was drunk when it happened and fled the scene of the crime.
It's okay if his criminal activity hurt other people in the past but once it becomes personal it's unacceptable? Just food for thought. This is almost too insane to believe.
Did you tell him that was your mother? Did he not notice she had the same name as you? You need to get an admission of guilt from him. Put him back in the slam-her. Well that is definitely something to make you lose sleep. In still other states you regain the right after a set time depending on the crime. You may have also seen a box, asking if you've ever been convicted of a felony. When you check that box, your rental prospects get increasingly difficult.
Virtually all landlords have the right to deny anyone, and they have every right to ask about felony convictions. Most states look into a criminal record with great scrutiny before issuing licenses.
‘Help! Should I Date an Ex-Con?’ Advice Guide for Dating Former Criminals
Some other states don't require a license at all, which some might consider scarier than being inked by a licensed felon. If, in the extremely rare case there is a great need for soldiers, they do make exceptions but the dire need for new recruits has been low in recent years. Some prisons have even trained felons to become barbers, a skill that would easily translate into getting a job in the real world. However, this Texas man , who was trained in prison, passed the test, but was then denied a license, even though the state knew he was a felon every step of the way.
Thanks x 10 WTF! Aug 27, 2. Number 9 is so fucked up! How you gonna waste someone's time and get their hopes up just so they can't utilize the training when they get out of jail? Aug 27, 3. Only an idiot would take an ex-felon seriously as a partner. It's like purposely shooting yourself in the foot. Why would you do that to yourself? Thanks x 13 Disagree!
6 Brutal Things You Experience As An Ex-Convict
Aug 27, 4. That out of country travel would be a problem. Can't leave the country on cruises. Thanks x 6 LOL! Aug 27, 5. Tbh, when you take into account the prison industrial complex and the fact that you can get a felony for the smallest things in some state, I think a lot of this shit is just unfair and is put in place to keep people disenfranchised. You are perpetuating criminal behavior when you put things in place that prohibit someone from being able to make it out.
They can't get help to go to school? Education is the one way to reduce criminal behavior, even if they get it in prison. However, prison is a big money maker so you have to encourage criminal behavior. With that being said I'd feel stuck in life. Like, they can't really do shit and you have nothing to fall back on as a family.